With a little creativity, some communication, and an open mind, you can give your sex life a much-earned upgrade.
The idea that your sex drive goes AWOL in old age is one big myth: In truth, sex can get even more exciting and stimulating with age. How? You can kiss some of the stresses of your younger years goodbye and focus on rediscovering the sizzle with your spouse.
While age presents some people with sexual challenges (such as erectile dysfunction or decreased libido), these five steps can help all seniors intensify their love life.
1. Slow things down a notch.
Make more time for intimacy and be prepared to approach sex differently. What once turned you and your partner on may not have the same effect anymore. Take the time to experiment your way to better sex. “I think of this as a gift to women,” says Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After SixtyNaked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex
Just spending time touching is a great warm-up for senior sex. Price, 67, began writing about senior sex 10 years ago when she fell in love with a man and, as she describes it, “had great, exhilarating, spicy sex, but it wasn’t like in our twenties, not at all.” She then realized that the overwhelming cultural belief was that senior sex would be dull and painful at best. It’s neither of those, she says, but it is different, in large part because of the physiological changes that come with aging.
2. Chat about your body’s changes.
3. Experiment with new positions and toys.
If you find that sex aids top the list of difficult things to talk about, keep this in mind: “If we have slow arousal and arthritic wrists, why not just turn on a tool that does the job really well because that’s what it’s designed for? If we need a little assist, that’s okay,” says Jones. Other new moves may be as simple as a change of position or the addition of some pillows to support achy bones.
4. Explore on your own.
5. Stay healthy.
One important element of staying healthy? Practice safe sex. Even though you don’t have to worry about unwanted pregnancy, age does not protect men or women from sexually transmitted diseases. Plan on using condoms for sexual intercourse if you and your partner are not in a long-term, monogamous relationship.
With the right attitude and an open mind, sex in your senior years can be exhilarating and spicy indeed.